Come on, you know that you have thought about it: are you in good enough shape to survive the zombie apocalypse? It’s you against 100 zombies intent on feasting on your tasty, tasty brain. Could you make it? Could you out run them? Could you get away from them? You can make it if you know the 7 best exercises for surviving the zombie apocalypse. Here is my list of exercises you better get good at if you want to survive.
#1. The 400 Meter Sprint The need for speed is critical for escaping zombies. Ideally you should be able to sprint all out for 400 meters in less than 90 seconds, even better is 60 seconds. That should get you far enough away to hide, get to your safe spot or grab a weapon. Work on sprints at least once a week. Try and run four to six 400 meter sprints per session and keep the time of all the runs no more than 10 seconds apart. This should increase your cardio in no time.
#2. Speed Walking 5 Miles The ability to cover a long distance in a short amount of time should not be overlooked. You never know when you will have to move from hideout to hideout with your gear. Ideally you should do this carrying a backpack with at least 30 pounds of stuff in it. A weight vest is also a great substitution. Doing this in less than 45 minutes is a must. Go for a walk at least 3 times a week to build up you stamina then add the weight.
#3. Rope Climbs You will need to get places that zombies cannot, like tree houses and the roofs of secured buildings. The best way to do that will be with a rope so you better be able to climb up it. If you can’t climb a rope yet there is no need to panic. Start by pulling yourself off the ground from your back and then lower yourself back down again. Ideally you will eventually be able to do two 20 foot rope climbs with only your hands (not using your feet) consecutively. Work on it, it’s a great upper body exercise.
#4. Using A Sledgehammer You’ll more than likely have to smash a few zombie heads in with some blunt object, like a sledgehammer. A sledgehammer circuit will help you build strength and conditioning at the same time. Get an old worn out tire (the bigger the better) and proceed to pound the hell out of it. A twelve pound sledgehammer will never seem so heavy after a workout! This will also help you by getting you in shape for chopping down trees, chopping up firewood, chopping off heads and breaking down barricaded doors. Fun stuff. You can also flip the tire as an added workout.
#5 Pull-Ups/Chin-Ups You have to be able to master your own bodyweight and these exercises are first on the list. The ability to pull yourself up is an essential survival skill you must possess. If you can’t do these yet have no fear. Start today and progress until you can do it. Ultimately you want to be able to do a muscle-up.
#6. Plyometric Training You have to be nimble to avoid zombies. Being able to jump up on and over things will be important. Box jumps, broad jumps, lateral bounding and tuck jumps will all work your legs and give you a cardio workout. Start with small boxes and obstacles until you can move up to 30” boxes and higher. Wear a weight vest to increase the difficulty.
#7. Burpees When you are holed up in your hiding place from the zombies you’ll have to stay in shape for your inevitable escape. With burpees you’ll get a full body workout wherever you are. They work your legs, arms, chest and core as well as being a great cardio workout. Start with sets of 10 until you can build up your stamina and do at least 50 in a row. Ultimately you should be able to do 100 in a row. It’s quite the workout from just one exercise.
In all seriousness, these 7 exercises will provide you with a pretty good workout (even without worrying about the zombie apocalypse). Try and incorporate each one into your workout routine if you’re not already. That way you’ll have all the bases covered: you get in better shape and you’ll be ready for the zombies. Either way you can’t lose! Good luck!